A Milestone Birthday
Tomorrow, May 18, 2005 I turn 40. A milestone, albeit maybe not a major one by most people’s standards. However, this past year I have been somewhat dreading this particular milestone.
My husband reminds me that it is just another day. Just like the other approximate 30,000 days in an average life. And I don’t think it is so much the “passing of youth” as it were. I think mostly it is a reminder that I stand at the approximate fulcrum of my life. Given an average life of 80 years, half has passed already, and I am left to reflect on what I have accomplished, where am I going, what goals do I have set, and what kind of an impact do I leave in my passing to those who I have known, who are in my daily life, and with whom I have daily interaction.
This past year was a wake-up call to my soul. I was shaken out of a complacency, and have found myself questioning many aspects of my life. I have come through with a greater need to establish community and family for myself. I find myself needing interaction and companionship like never before in my life. So much of my youthful years I certainly could care less what people thought about me, and I was content to keep my own company. That is changing now. I find a terribly strong desire to make ties, to form bonds, to forge friendships. I carefully attempt this in the avenues available to me. And I call to the Universe to bring more opportunities. I have no children, so I have no foothold in the future, no advocate, no champion to carry the banner of my best interest as I get older. So I must carefully build ties now to substitute for this lack.
It is an ongoing process, my decisions on where the next 40 may take me. Of course, it could all end long before that . . . but I am an optimist! I hope to continue learning and growing, and improving my skills, to include falconry, as well as other aspects of my life that need attention. My spiritual life could also use development. Priorities! I need to set time away to address these needs. But above all else, I wish to continue to form an ever expanding circle of friends. People I can rely on, and give mutual support to, and proceed together with as I walk the continuing path of my life.
May that path grow ever clearer to me, every day.
My husband reminds me that it is just another day. Just like the other approximate 30,000 days in an average life. And I don’t think it is so much the “passing of youth” as it were. I think mostly it is a reminder that I stand at the approximate fulcrum of my life. Given an average life of 80 years, half has passed already, and I am left to reflect on what I have accomplished, where am I going, what goals do I have set, and what kind of an impact do I leave in my passing to those who I have known, who are in my daily life, and with whom I have daily interaction.
This past year was a wake-up call to my soul. I was shaken out of a complacency, and have found myself questioning many aspects of my life. I have come through with a greater need to establish community and family for myself. I find myself needing interaction and companionship like never before in my life. So much of my youthful years I certainly could care less what people thought about me, and I was content to keep my own company. That is changing now. I find a terribly strong desire to make ties, to form bonds, to forge friendships. I carefully attempt this in the avenues available to me. And I call to the Universe to bring more opportunities. I have no children, so I have no foothold in the future, no advocate, no champion to carry the banner of my best interest as I get older. So I must carefully build ties now to substitute for this lack.
It is an ongoing process, my decisions on where the next 40 may take me. Of course, it could all end long before that . . . but I am an optimist! I hope to continue learning and growing, and improving my skills, to include falconry, as well as other aspects of my life that need attention. My spiritual life could also use development. Priorities! I need to set time away to address these needs. But above all else, I wish to continue to form an ever expanding circle of friends. People I can rely on, and give mutual support to, and proceed together with as I walk the continuing path of my life.
May that path grow ever clearer to me, every day.
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