Pathways

I stand at a crux point in my life. A goal that I have been working on is actually, finally coming to completion. In three weeks I will graduate with an Associate of Applied Science, Respiratory Therapy. I have one final oral examination that I must pass to graduate. The rest of the time is clinical practice. After graduation I will need to sit for my certifying examination, which I will do within about a week. The next most important step after graduation and certification is to find employment.

Here is the crux! Where will I go?

I do not want to stay here! I have wanted to leave here for a very long time. This very day holds some significance. I didn't even realize it until later in the day, while checking my calendar for something else. Happy Cherynobl Day!

In my heart I want to go West. I long to find myself a progressive modestly sized cosmopolitan city that offers cultural opportunities, interesting cuisine, equally interesting people. I long for the ocean, and the mountain. I have sent my application to the hospital network in Eugene, but lacking experience I think this door is not open to me yet. I may have to wait a little longer.

Fate seems to be pulling me in a direction I don't quite desire, but that I might have to walk.

My father has been hospitalized for well over a month now. He is stable, but you can't say he is really recovering. He had a tumor in his intestines removed. He then suffered from an ulcer, and a pulmonary embolism. He has lost a lot of his strength and has been bed-ridden. He has been increasingly suffering from alzheimer symptoms, and those have only gotten worse while in the hospital because he has not been getting his medications for this. It is very likely he will never return home. He has not recovered from all the events stemming from the tumor, never mind if he'll have the stamina for cancer treatment. He is not taking his hospitalization well . . . and it is causing increasing stress for my mother. Mom is not very healthy herself! And she really should not live by herself.

I think I may be getting pulled "home". El Paso is just about the LAST place I want to go to, but I feel I may need to do this, for awhile.

There are several hospitals in El Paso. One has an opening for a Respiratory Therapist. I will be applying for the position. If this is the path I am to walk for a little while, the job will be made available to me. I cannot let my education go to waste. I need to begin working as soon as possible. I need to get the critical experience necessary that will open up the doors I want to go through, once my family duty is addressed.

I think I can practice my falconry there. I may live with my mother for awhile, but may get my own place because I long for my own privacy. However, I probably could set up my facilities at her house. Certainly, if there are not many red-tails in the area to trap next fall, a roadtrip out East will find lots of them. With a Texas license, I could drive wherever in Texas to find the bird I will need. If I live there, I can make a point to go and visit all those places I never did when I was down in the Southwest . . . the Big Bend of Texas, the Grand Canyon, and more of New Mexico. Also, being just a few hours from my friend Sharon, I could get a New Mexico out of state hunting license, and go visit her from time to time and fly birds with her.

If my path leads me into the desert, until the day comes that I can truly go to where my heart wants to be . . . I will make the best of it.